like marriage is hard

people tell you that

but you don’t know what they mean

until you’re in it

it’s probably different for everyone 

while being exactly same

I would imagine


the thing about MOM

is that all you are 

or were

is suddenly over

and you didn’t get the memo

though you vaguely remember

signing up

it was late

there may have been cocktails


then, suddenly

the consensus is “no”

“no. I don’t eat that”

“no, I won’t wear that”

“no, that’s the WRONG one”

“so-and-so has the right one”

“so-and-so’s mom is this”

“my life sucks”

“you suck”

and she’s not yet 11

eleven! eleven? really?!

what happened to the dreaded 13?


but you find yourself believing it

“I do suck”

“I don’t know”

THIS is hard

this IS hard

this is HARD



you start thinking about 

sending them to live elsewhere

or perhaps fantasizing is a better word

you wouldn’t really do it

but just for a moment

you imagine yourself

before all of that

back when you were magic

deep breath in

deep breath out


I love my peanut

AND I love myself

someone said to me the other day

let me get this right

“I hope you look at your daughter

and realize that’s what you were meant to do”


my daughter is not what I was meant to do

I was meant to be here for her to see what’s possible in life


I am here for her

I am here for humanity

that’s what I believe, anyway

what about you?