like marriage is hard
people tell you that
but you don’t know what they mean
until you’re in it
it’s probably different for everyone
while being exactly same
I would imagine
the thing about MOM
is that all you are
or were
is suddenly over
and you didn’t get the memo
though you vaguely remember
signing up
it was late
there may have been cocktails
then, suddenly
the consensus is “no”
“no. I don’t eat that”
“no, I won’t wear that”
“no, that’s the WRONG one”
“so-and-so has the right one”
“so-and-so’s mom is this”
“my life sucks”
“you suck”
and she’s not yet 11
eleven! eleven? really?!
what happened to the dreaded 13?
but you find yourself believing it
“I do suck”
“I don’t know”
THIS is hard
this IS hard
this is HARD
THIS IS HARD!
you start thinking about
sending them to live elsewhere
or perhaps fantasizing is a better word
you wouldn’t really do it
but just for a moment
you imagine yourself
before all of that
back when you were magic
deep breath in
deep breath out
I love my peanut
AND I love myself
someone said to me the other day
let me get this right
“I hope you look at your daughter
and realize that’s what you were meant to do”
huh?!
my daughter is not what I was meant to do
I was meant to be here for her to see what’s possible in life
I am here for her
I am here for humanity
that’s what I believe, anyway
what about you?
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